Healing Tools

At her first appointment, Kyung1 describes unrelenting anxiety that interferes with eating, sleeping, working, and enjoying life. “I’m done! I’ve tried Rescue Remedy, meditation, therapy, and meds. I need it to stop now!” While I might be tempted to explain that most change is slow and gradual, the energy of “Done!” can herald big shifts…. Read More

We instinctively approach a frightened animal with slow, gentle movements and a soft voice. We show that we mean no harm, and give the animal time to decide if and how to approach us. Traumatized humans need the same gentle approach. Illusion of urgency Trauma leaves behind an agitated nervous system and a body on… Read More

When we step forward into an inviting future, we need to pay attention to the gap between our existing habits and our changed environment. If the change is unwanted or the future is uncertain, we have even more reasons to be mindful during the transition. Transitions are hard “Soon it will be time to put… Read More

Do you have a decision you’re weighing or a dilemma that’s causing you stress? A Decision-Free Zone is a safe time and space to listen to all of yourself, with a clear boundary that action is off the table. You can write in a journal, talk with a friend, or explore in a healing session…. Read More

Self-forgiveness is entwined with sticky topics for survivors of abuse and trauma: forgiving others, acceptance, faith, and trust. To allow self-forgiveness, we gently question our layers of reflexive self-judgment. One more task Too often, people recommend forgiving others to sidestep appropriate rage and protect abusers from natural consequences of their behavior. “He’s being nice now,”… Read More

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. — W.H. Murray (often misattributed to Goethe) A common saying in twelve-step groups is “Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.” Similarly, don’t compare your creative work-in-progress to someone else’s completed work. A thousand invisible decisions… Read More

The day my controlling girlfriend moved out, I grabbed a broom and swept the wood floor with increasing relief and joy. She had subtly taken over my house by taking over the housework “as a favor.” On that day, my view of maintenance tasks permanently changed from annoying interruptions to affirmations of presence. As I… Read More

Traumatic events are overwhelming to body and spirit while they happen, and we often remain out of contact with our bodies afterwards. We dissociate, distract ourselves, or otherwise avoid noticing what is happening within. Meditation can create a safe space for re-establishing contact and gently noticing what is happening in the moment – even if… Read More